THE DAILY BLOVIATION
Good morning, Cleveland Browns fans!
If you’re going to steal a truck from a Mercedes-Benz dealer and joyride it into a ditch at I-480 and Clague Road, it might as well be the “quickest, fastest, most powerful pickup truck in the world.” After all, you’re going to break the law, you might as well really break it, right? Do it with some panache.
So suggests the advertising copy on Dodge’s website for the 2022 Dodge Ram TRX, a monstrosity of a vehicle definitely not targeted for working-class haulers, but apparently to people driving in nighttime metropolitan areas or speeding around Baja dunes, based on the pictures on the website. Featuring “eight extra inches of overall width, massive 35-inch tires, and a menacing stance,” the Dodge Ram TRX is apparently intended to tighten fellow drivers into the fetal position. It’s “AN EXERCISE IN EXCESS,” the copy screams.
It’s a vehicle that would need to pick cars like my little Honda Fit off its grille with a toothpick after every drive on the highway.
(The brilliant Photoshop illustrates this scenario on the home page).
This is apparently the truck that Deshaun Watson owns, and, God bless him, if it’s the vehicle he (or anyone else) wants with his money, that’s the car he shall have. If he brings Cleveland a Super Bowl, he can have a whole fleet of them to terrify people on I-90 on Sunday mornings on the way into the Stadium. Unfortunately, as indicated above, his was stolen from a Mercedes-Benz dealer and crashed into a ditch yesterday morning.
While Watson re-secures his massive vehicle, the team itself continues its search for a defensive coordinator, yesterday interviewing Eagles defensive assistant Dennard Wilson for the gig. On the same day, the Seattle Seahawks were routed out of the playoffs in the second half by the San Francisco 49ers, freeing up Sean Desai to come to Cleveland and finish off the initial group of interviews. No one knows how the Wilson interview went, but there are many articles about it below.
And that’s about it for today’s Newswire, with some notebook-emptying in the “Everything Else” section and the usual assortment of miscellany in the Fanblog area.
Changing the subject entirely, I’m going to check up on the Cleveland sports Mastodon instance I set up as a Twitter alternative. I’m ticked off at Elon Musk for breaking the ability of third-party Twitter apps like my beloved Tweetbot to work. You’re now forced to use Twitter’s inferior mobile client. Apparently, he’s doing this without any notification or warning, so people have to look at the ads he’s desperately trying to sell. This is the danger of relying on a monopoly to communicate.
Mastodon provides an open-source alternative. It costs me some dollars to run the Mastodon instance (called CleSports.social). It’s supported by your subscription dollars if you need another reason to join up. If you’re curious about Mastodon as a way to break free of Twitter, you can read this or Google it. It’s pretty simple. I’ll still lurk on Twitter as long as it’s relevant to the news cycle, but I’m not very happy with the company right now. I had issues keeping my Mastodon server up and running, but things seem fine now, and I’ll go kick the server this afternoon to make sure it’s still alive.
Enough complaining. Have a good one! GO BROWNS!!!
* I think I stole the joke from Jay Leno, but am not sure. It’s really old.